poetry and ideas
BUTTERFLY LIES AND HIGHS
exchange our ideas of the butterfly lie
beauty in your eye could be garbage in mine
set a sigh in your tune
played slowly in ballads so sweet to the ear
so near to the point where
all I hear
Is something next to extasy
for once nothing to fear
Trace this hope with a tear
born in faith filled horned heads
Exchange white for the red
rythm and blues come alive in the air
with that stare in your eyes
such a soul peircing pair
its the smell of your hair
and the fact that your there in times of need
to soften my heart and to change all my greed
for all the wrong things
indeed you havent been found
but I will lead myself into your life
without love I would end this pain witha knife
till your mine I will search through this hell
...future wife
I love the way that you soothe with the song
its so wrong to have someone so right for so long
someone who shares a heart of the same tempered mold
who can take all the pressure of love and not fold
who can care about nothing
everything
willing to share this dispair for a moment
while im flesh I wont rest until theres nothing left to express
excess love will make everything terribly right
say goodnight, this time mean it
Its my life
now ive seen it
clean out the stained glass broken fast
shattered screams are reborn with new dreams of your touch
kaleidascope shapes show the color of living
black patterns explode out with the spirit of giving
my emotions are wanted for something worth while
something to make me smile for a second
hope my hate doesnt wreck it
keep my pain where I left it
Have you seen a true sinner repent all his sins
Erases his past with some pleasent new wins
he begins to discuss what has torn him in two
spilled his heart on the floor
involved more than a few
placed my burden on them
search for my shared future fate
with a true perfect ten
I will die happy
closure comes in a box
pine smells sweet when your loved
body covered in rocks
that is where ill belong
where no disease of depression is stuck in my head
My life may be cut short or stretched selfishly long
where succes can be left with this world when im dead
where the sweet and the sour are buried together
tear a hole in my chest where there was nothing left
Silence speaks in great speeches
teach me something to burn apart all this frustration
The sensation of pride is right within my soul
I will start my own fire
I will stir up the coles of whats left in my heart
I will build it with trust
love not torn apart
this is my promise
And I choose to keep this one...(sorry to those ive lied to)
dont read if your not willing to listen with an open heart
truth is, im starting to notice the good things in life. there few and far betwen the bad, but I have true hope in something greater. it still hurts when I hear someones name that i miss, to see someone kiss just makes me feel lonely. but gives me something to work for. I know i have potential for great things, whether they be agknowledged by this earth or not. I will suceed. But the most important thing that ive learned in my past 8 or so years of heartache and self destruction is that love will heal all wounds, and family is first. When i meet that special someone i know that i will fine true acceptance in life. I believe that to be true for everyone. Blue skies are not often noticed by me, but today i saw straight through the rain. Im insane with the need for a void to be filled. I know love will soothe it, but im beginning to wonder if god is what he claims to be. a friend. Ive needed a real friend in him for so long. Ive blamed him daily for all the sorrow i feel. He must exist, but for what purpose. I have many questions that have gone unanswered for years. they have cost me much promise and thousands of tears. if you know anything about what im saying, and you think you might be able to help. talk to me. im open to it now. I need this loop of happiness to end, and begin with a plan to keep it strong. I know i need someone in my arms to feel like I belong. true friends are shown in times like this, when feelings unfold and some faith does exist for the future.
dont get me wrong, life is pain. but maybe theres something in it to tune down the anguish. maybe we can live forever in something worth it. maybe were not just animals made to destroy. just starting to explore what may be the real truth.
maybe my truth has been a distraction to whats wonderful. maybe not. we will see.
Static erupts on the curve of your lips
drawing me near without fear of whats real
peel back your old cliche' of whats wrong with your life
with it on love shows through but is filtered through twice
shifted through reality
all can see your disturbed just like me
with the worries of this world and whats wrong with the cards dealt to you
seems like someones fucked with you
predestined depression
impressions dont last
but death comes so quick
forget about the past
but your strength gives me hope and a reason to cope
trailing the one true prize
shred all ugly ties to this rhetoric given to imprisoned love
youve got life
you should live it
youv got love
you should give it
youve got hate
you wont miss it
taste this hope
I could kiss it
BEAUTY SHINES THROUGH
conversation ended with solace inside
felt litter remorse with nothing to hide
I lied when I said that your pretty on the outside
your beautiful
charm spills from your words
worthy of few
if you only knew
short and sweet
but written deep from the heart
your gonna find someone great
and remember to wait....
its all worth it. young one
I had much more fun talking to you than I have had in a while
thanks
please email me with comments, good or bad. I wanna know what some people think if anyone reads this shit. nickbatastini@yahoo.com *I can take critisizm
DRUNKEN LETTERS STAND OUT IN CROWDS OF SOBER NUMBERS
i build my soul on rocks of rage
unleash for all to know my pain
you see a boy who seems ok
but normals strange to me
I feel the days jsut slip away
in punishment
but for what
only solace I see in the horizen is an image of your face
stands out in a sky of black
what this world lacks in true love
is made up in temptations changed with rationalization
its a maze of moral corruption
If god exists he set some rules
to make someone who shares some clues of perfection
but some dont see whats made to be
set in stone and soft hearts
we were only made for one
whoes above there own silent prayers
a need for something better
a letter lost of love and hope
could make a life so hard to cope with
what if ive already met the one
but my mistakes have passed her by
blinded by my own embrace of distrust
side by side is love and lust
fine line means miles in comparison
I only need one
I love that way you bite your lip
Expose your thoughts and move your hips
Addicted after just one sip
Id kiss you for the hell of it
my fingertips explore the place
that sexy sway of looks exchanged
your next to none to fit my taste
with pleasure built and life explained
;)
I could need you.....and you may not even know it. search for meaning
bleach the color of love with rejection
comes out so pure
so white its perfection
shows the truth from the storybook tales of commitment
hurts like hell to ommit the descritption of romance
stains of mistakes show straight through all the fabric
stiched up seam of my heart bleeds right through all the sadness
grip my life
you can have it
strip my love
I cant bear it
dipped in blood for those lost in the color of crimson
all i need is the vision to see past it
make it last like the happiness you tell me of
clean my life with understanding of existence
I would listen with an eager mind
Aftermath of an adrenaline explosion
Count the shrapnel in my chest
exposed at the points like a crimson mountain
bleed it out till nothing left
picture frames with portraits made
where kept so near my core
you gave a bomb of music played that let my pain explore my torso
slow motion blow from inside
screaming to get out
feel the tear of loyalty
Cough up the ashes of yesterday
Vulgar thoughts with melody
Rough to the ears
watch what you say
truth is locked in misery
nothing you do would make it ok
So this is what it feels like to die inside
I understand I lit the fuse...
INTIMATE HOMOCIDE
inverted smiles are my non-worded thoughts
imagine me happy
examine me rot
enwrap me in comfort
collapse my proud chest
protect me from freedom
like a bullet proof vest
I felt my ribs cracking underneath your words
I gasp with a breath I thought was lost in violence
in silence I question your motives
Now I understand
I melt slow in your seduction
searching for the seam of your skirt
distract me with pleasure
attack me with pain
its in plain view that your intentions were selfish
im only blinded by my needs
now im screaming
....still in need
dont ever lead me to believe that I will ever own even a fraction of your acceptance
I may believe you
WHY IT IS
no combination of words could explain the hate I feel right now
the best thing for me now would be revenge
avenge tha happiness I have lost because of that outspoken opinion
A sin to feel pain?
how could you ever critisize my reality when all i can see is
written in red ink
spilled from a void in my chest
ripped open like all the rest of those exposed to whats real
its empty I feel
I claw my flesh open so others can see whats inside
to feel what i cant hide
and explain how hard ive tried to be content
but that means next to nothing to you
cheated out of all I have
immune to promises of the nonexistant
this emptiness is all I exist in
love is the only solution.....
if any.
And I only have faith in one.
*It kills me as I write this just to think that
MISSING IN ME
if only you could taste what it feels like
such a bittersweet waste of oxygen
face to face with my demons
eyes are fixed on the mirror
I only have my potential to fear
I try with all that i have to steer away from anger
but every exit leads back to the beginning
I keep grinning with hope of a savior
my behavior reflects what i need
escape from this prison
any form of freedom is expected
only you are accepted
someone to hold
someone to love
everythings cold
ive had enough
your the answer to my problems
remedy my rebellion.....
I only want to be happy
I only need to be loved
where the fuck are you
OUT ON AN INVISIBLE LIMB
the most sensual conversations are spoken with the eyes
a toast to verbal lacerations and the love that shapes our lives
Ive always wanted to voice my affection for you
stare you straight in the face and translate what my eyes have been trying to tell you
spell out for you what you never understood
how could you ignore my shakey glances
chance is you chose to pass me by without a second thought
Im not gonna lie
my loss
beautiful people deserve kisses and laughter
people like me preserve love and disaster
All I could promise you is my heart
damaged but powerful
I wish you were mine
JUNIOR HIGH MEMORIES
scream is locked in my throat
how could I cope with this
just one note spoke in revenge could spell the death of me
slow my sobs to harness the pain
feel the pressure of the floor against my forhead
like a 45
spare me the speech
pull the trigger
teach me that I will never be like you
end me to send me a message of hate
the worst fate after now could be life
to live with this rejected feeling
peeling away any shred of dignity I have
BATTLE OF SHATTERED EGOS
the problem with people
is they hit you were it hurts
even with brass balls
they crack your glass heart
like a bat to a beautiful chandalere
slow motion connection
cheers to all the times I stood my ground
till the crash of glass and tears
battle of shattered egos
when wars are built on staying tough
they tap the pain, they call my bluff
suffer goes with the defeat
broken beyond repair
never thought id see the day
when you killed a peice of me
spilled confidence from my body
clinging to my clothes in bloody streaks
eyes reflect agony
teeth clenched in spasmic vibrations
corner of my eye catches your smirk
the same one I will wipe clean from your face
one day in some way
Ill shatter a peice of you
ill exploit your weakness
all you did was stain my heart with revenge
colored glass feels so cold in my chest
every movement sharp with the memory of us
War burns bright inside me
and you thought I was finished........
windows come crashing down in shards so sharp
broken by bodys
broke in vein
cut through skin like nothing
something to bleed on
someone to lean on
peices of plastic faith
stuck right through your pupils
if cupid exists
arrows painted with poison joy
out the back of your eyes
mouth adjusts to mellow cry
open in tragedy
can in my hand gives me excuses
drink till theres not a drop
think that Ill be on top
dress for my funeral in colors
festive for the occasion
just like im on vacation
from my enemies friends
so close to me
mark trader on them
but little matters in war
soar like an eagle above
love all the remorse but enjoy a new course in freedom
restricted from the shallow
Drunken songs in anxiouse ambrosia
face to face with promises lost and unknown
whether I loved her or not
whether its wasted or not
please someone touch me
its hard to taste this grief alone
bittersweet symphony sung with screams
underneath sympathy theres always a selfish person
bleeding so deeply at the seams
manipulation
anything to release the tension
not a thing I can do in retaliation
but voice my opinion
what were those things you told me?
I vaguley remember extasy
compliments and casual talk
but i shoulda known....
DIRECTED AT SUSPICIOUSE STRANGERS
I truly believe that half the people who pretend to be friends with me are only actors, playing the part of two faceds cowards no matter how subtle there actions be. All I can say is that I have love for true friends past and present, no matter how few they may be. And while things may seem to be peaceful now, ill expose you for who you are. If you dont like me, tell me and leave me the fuck alone. But if your with me, Ill see you through heaven or hell. Thats the bottom line. No Bullshit. No gimmicks. no limits. - yours truly Nick
MASTERPEICE OF MELANCOLY
letter of irrelevent regret is found
bound to a picture of god with his eyes crossed out
sound of paper unrolled then 3 words pop out
Ill Miss you
Sealed with one explosive round
A Loss of words and lack of breath
wish youd waste away till nothing left
this was meant for your eyes only
though lonely thoughts race through your semicounciouse state
you take a second to wonder if theyeve found him
wonder if they taste his sadness
tie dyed red wall owns his madness
masterpeice of melancoly
BAPTISM
Count the seconds of hesitation
time slows to mark a phenomenon
confidence drops like coffee cups in movies
contemplate to take it all in
like being hit by a tank
at best I have you to thank
for this unveiling of intentions
suspend all sections of my heart in mid burst
Now I see that all your caring has been nothing but cheap merchandise
nothing but a price tag with a curse
youve dropped a bomb
mushroomcloud aftermath of air thick with akward silence
follow your voice to anger
impulses of the injured violently imprinted on the wall
drop to the floor
savor the fall as I realise its my last experience as me
swimming in questions so numb
so frail to the thought
answers to brutal
converted so young
acceptance is futil
open eyes to new life,
im a child of heartbreak
